The Continued Journey
As in my last post, I began to update you as to the journey the Lord has led Christa and me through. Here is the next installment, with several more to follow. Enjoy.
Home from Thailand
Friday July 13, after Christa returned from Thailand, we found ourselves in her apartment watching the movie, The Island. Christa was experiencing jet-lag and had dozed off several times beginning at around 7pm. But, at the movie’s end, Christa asked me to share with her some of the things God had shown me when we were apart, as I had hinted several times with eagerness at the fact that I wanted to talk to her.
For some reason I began the conversation by saying, “When I walk out that door tonight, things between us cannot be the same.” Looking back on it, I probably would have started by saying something else, but nonetheless I didn’t waste much time in getting to the point. I proceeded by telling her that about three weeks ago, at SuperWOW, the Lord had led me to commit to love her in a worship service.
I distinctly remember hesitating to tell her during that Friday night, but not experiencing any fear. Rather, I hesitated at the immensity of the word “love.” I did not fully comprehend its meaning at the time, nor do I claim to know it now. However, I had a pure and powerful peace at telling Christa of my love for her. It seemed natural and right that that night was the time to tell her. So I did. Christa did not respond by saying, “I love you too,” and I am quite glad that obligation did not lead her to say something she didn’t mean.
In the past in our relationship, any mention whatsoever of my feelings for Christa seemed to incite an onslaught of attacks from the enemy against me, against Christa, and against us. Therefore, I left her apartment praying against the certain attacks to come.
A Week of Aversion
The following week brought an overwhelming and oppressive series of attacks on Christa and me. From Saturday to Wednesday, I experienced some intense attacks on my mind and emotions. There were times I regretted telling Christa I loved her and times I was mad that she didn’t reciprocate it. My mind was filled with lies telling me that it was a mistake, and the things the Lord did that I was certain about were becoming less and less clear. I struggled with doubting God and His will.
Wednesday rolled along, and Christa and I talked on the phone, as we had not seen each other all day. I could tell Christa was irritated about something, but didn’t know what or why. She told me that she had “an aversion” toward me and that emotionally she simply didn’t want to see me or even be around me. In retrospect, I am not sure why, but I felt almost relieved at her telling me this, as something on my heart had suspected that I was not the only one experiencing a difficult and confusing week. We promptly ended the conversation, and that is when the week became amazing.
In past relationships, a week like this would have become the beginning of the end. I would have stayed on the phone until I had resolution, but resolution usually meant that I made the girl so mad that we broke up—this really only happened once, but had opportunities come, it would have happened more. For some reason, I had a comforting peace that just didn’t make sense. Christa and I didn’t see each other until Saturday and barely talked in between. Being just miles apart physically and not seeing each other was hard, but I knew that the Lord was working in her heart and in mine. So peace gave me the will to persevere.
We had plans to spend the day together on Saturday, July 21—to eat dinner and see the new Harry Potter movie. But, I wanted to be able to express to Christa how much I cared about her and how much I was thinking about her and praying for her over the last few difficult days. So I went to Barnes and Noble and purchased a nice Italian leather journal for her. I wrote a note in the front of it, a prayer in the back, and a series of Scripture verses and prayers on the tops of pages throughout. When I handed the journal to Christa, she was ecstatic, to say the least. She thought it was extremely nice and thoughtful, and come to find out, she was overwhelmed that I wanted to get her something like that after the week that we experienced.
Little did I know at the time that the Lord used this time to further confirm to Christa and me about our future together.
Quite a Car Ride
On Thursday July 26, I spent a day in Fayetteville with Christa and her parents. In the morning, I played golf with her father and in the midst of our round, I mentioned to him that I would like to have an opportunity sometime soon to talk with his wife and him about what the Lord had shown me concerning Christa. He had apparently spoken with his wife that afternoon about what I said, and Mrs. Mary Lynn abruptly asked me at dinner, “What do you want to talk about?” A bit taken aback at Mrs. Mary Lynn’s straightforwardness and unprepared to discuss things then, I realized there were a few things that the Lord had done that I still hadn’t shared with Christa. So I responded by saying that I wanted to talk to her first and then talk with her parents.
So, the car ride home from Fayetteville to Athens consisted of me telling Christa all that transpired the last few weeks about our future. Among those things was the certainty that God had for us to get married, and how that certainty was made manifest to me over the prior weeks. Prior to this conversation, Christa and I had mentioned marriage, but talked about it as a possibility at best. At this point, however, it became clear to us both together, that marriage was not only a possibility, but also a natural step toward completion in Christ.
For me, this conversation with Christa was overwhelming and caused me to worship God for His sovereignty and divine purpose. After telling Christa what the Lord had so powerfully confirmed to me about our future, I made a statement about how I didn’t know why God had not brought Christa to that same point (at this point, I was unaware that the Lord had given Christa the same heart based on previous conversations). Before I could finish, Christa interrupted me by telling me that the Lord had shown her and confirmed to her the same things about our future.
Christa shared with me some stories of what the Lord had shown her in Thailand. What was so amazing was the commonality between God’s work in her heart and His work in mine. One of my main prayers was for God to speak to us the same thing about our future during the last several weeks—to give us the same vision and passion for our future together. The ideas of grad school and global missions came to the forefront of what we both believed God wants for us. We talked about marriage as though it was a part of us, with confidence in God’s plans and will.
The excitement about future possibilities and certainties was evident in both of us, and this conversation clearly served to display God’s faithfulness to His name, plan for kingdom impact through our relationship, and purpose for each other to minister and serve alongside each other.
Home from Thailand
Friday July 13, after Christa returned from Thailand, we found ourselves in her apartment watching the movie, The Island. Christa was experiencing jet-lag and had dozed off several times beginning at around 7pm. But, at the movie’s end, Christa asked me to share with her some of the things God had shown me when we were apart, as I had hinted several times with eagerness at the fact that I wanted to talk to her.
For some reason I began the conversation by saying, “When I walk out that door tonight, things between us cannot be the same.” Looking back on it, I probably would have started by saying something else, but nonetheless I didn’t waste much time in getting to the point. I proceeded by telling her that about three weeks ago, at SuperWOW, the Lord had led me to commit to love her in a worship service.
I distinctly remember hesitating to tell her during that Friday night, but not experiencing any fear. Rather, I hesitated at the immensity of the word “love.” I did not fully comprehend its meaning at the time, nor do I claim to know it now. However, I had a pure and powerful peace at telling Christa of my love for her. It seemed natural and right that that night was the time to tell her. So I did. Christa did not respond by saying, “I love you too,” and I am quite glad that obligation did not lead her to say something she didn’t mean.
In the past in our relationship, any mention whatsoever of my feelings for Christa seemed to incite an onslaught of attacks from the enemy against me, against Christa, and against us. Therefore, I left her apartment praying against the certain attacks to come.
A Week of Aversion
The following week brought an overwhelming and oppressive series of attacks on Christa and me. From Saturday to Wednesday, I experienced some intense attacks on my mind and emotions. There were times I regretted telling Christa I loved her and times I was mad that she didn’t reciprocate it. My mind was filled with lies telling me that it was a mistake, and the things the Lord did that I was certain about were becoming less and less clear. I struggled with doubting God and His will.
Wednesday rolled along, and Christa and I talked on the phone, as we had not seen each other all day. I could tell Christa was irritated about something, but didn’t know what or why. She told me that she had “an aversion” toward me and that emotionally she simply didn’t want to see me or even be around me. In retrospect, I am not sure why, but I felt almost relieved at her telling me this, as something on my heart had suspected that I was not the only one experiencing a difficult and confusing week. We promptly ended the conversation, and that is when the week became amazing.
In past relationships, a week like this would have become the beginning of the end. I would have stayed on the phone until I had resolution, but resolution usually meant that I made the girl so mad that we broke up—this really only happened once, but had opportunities come, it would have happened more. For some reason, I had a comforting peace that just didn’t make sense. Christa and I didn’t see each other until Saturday and barely talked in between. Being just miles apart physically and not seeing each other was hard, but I knew that the Lord was working in her heart and in mine. So peace gave me the will to persevere.
We had plans to spend the day together on Saturday, July 21—to eat dinner and see the new Harry Potter movie. But, I wanted to be able to express to Christa how much I cared about her and how much I was thinking about her and praying for her over the last few difficult days. So I went to Barnes and Noble and purchased a nice Italian leather journal for her. I wrote a note in the front of it, a prayer in the back, and a series of Scripture verses and prayers on the tops of pages throughout. When I handed the journal to Christa, she was ecstatic, to say the least. She thought it was extremely nice and thoughtful, and come to find out, she was overwhelmed that I wanted to get her something like that after the week that we experienced.
Little did I know at the time that the Lord used this time to further confirm to Christa and me about our future together.
Quite a Car Ride
On Thursday July 26, I spent a day in Fayetteville with Christa and her parents. In the morning, I played golf with her father and in the midst of our round, I mentioned to him that I would like to have an opportunity sometime soon to talk with his wife and him about what the Lord had shown me concerning Christa. He had apparently spoken with his wife that afternoon about what I said, and Mrs. Mary Lynn abruptly asked me at dinner, “What do you want to talk about?” A bit taken aback at Mrs. Mary Lynn’s straightforwardness and unprepared to discuss things then, I realized there were a few things that the Lord had done that I still hadn’t shared with Christa. So I responded by saying that I wanted to talk to her first and then talk with her parents.
So, the car ride home from Fayetteville to Athens consisted of me telling Christa all that transpired the last few weeks about our future. Among those things was the certainty that God had for us to get married, and how that certainty was made manifest to me over the prior weeks. Prior to this conversation, Christa and I had mentioned marriage, but talked about it as a possibility at best. At this point, however, it became clear to us both together, that marriage was not only a possibility, but also a natural step toward completion in Christ.
For me, this conversation with Christa was overwhelming and caused me to worship God for His sovereignty and divine purpose. After telling Christa what the Lord had so powerfully confirmed to me about our future, I made a statement about how I didn’t know why God had not brought Christa to that same point (at this point, I was unaware that the Lord had given Christa the same heart based on previous conversations). Before I could finish, Christa interrupted me by telling me that the Lord had shown her and confirmed to her the same things about our future.
Christa shared with me some stories of what the Lord had shown her in Thailand. What was so amazing was the commonality between God’s work in her heart and His work in mine. One of my main prayers was for God to speak to us the same thing about our future during the last several weeks—to give us the same vision and passion for our future together. The ideas of grad school and global missions came to the forefront of what we both believed God wants for us. We talked about marriage as though it was a part of us, with confidence in God’s plans and will.
The excitement about future possibilities and certainties was evident in both of us, and this conversation clearly served to display God’s faithfulness to His name, plan for kingdom impact through our relationship, and purpose for each other to minister and serve alongside each other.
posted by mcm at 16:47
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