Checking In
It's been a while since I have typed and shared with others what has been happening with me. It's not that I haven't talked to people about my life, but that I haven't written to others about it. Don't get me wrong, I have journaled, typed, written, and spoken much about what is going on. I guess what I am trying to say is that I haven't blogged and shared with everyone what is happening. I miss that. I miss typing. I miss sharing my heart with everyone. It is my passion to write, type, and share with others of the Lord's work. So, here I am, typing again. It feels like home--a home I have not visited in a while, but one in which I see myself getting comfortable again, even as I write now.
The last time I blogged was October 2...
2006...
That was over a year ago. I hate that. But there is a part of that which I love: A lot has happened in the last year. There is much I cannot explain adequately, but here is a list of the major things that have happened since October 2, 2006:
Of course that list leaves out many details. Such details would have been blogged about along the way, but for whatever reason, they weren't. Anyway, I digress. In addition to that brief list, I will add that I have experienced quite a change in myself. The Lord has moved so powerfully that much of me has changed--my outlook on life, my faith, my expectations, my heart, my desires, and so much more. It is not to say that I have given up my passions and my goals, but it is to say that they have been altered. Not lost, but enhanced. For those of you who have not been constantly kept up to date with the day to day details of my life, you might look at me now and say that I am a different person. I assure you, I have always been me, and that will never change. However, I will be the first to tell you that I am changed, and I can only hope that all of you say that when you look back on your life year to year. So it thrills me to know that, as I age, I grow.
Scripture after Scripture teaches us that we are works in progress, that there is something greater for which we still exist. For example:
And the list goes on. This is the reason we change--for maturity, for what is ahead, for holiness, for growth, for completion. I echo Paul when I say that I am nowhere close to any of these attributes. But I strive for them. I pursue them. I yearn for them. This is my purpose and my aim.
I wish to share with you a glimpse of what God has done. As I mentioned earlier, I got engaged and am set to be married on January 4, 2008. I cannot wait! My fiance's name is Christa Kirby. She is amazing, and that is the understatement of a lifetime.
How it Began
I want to share with you the journey that has led us here, to the threshold of marriage. To begin, I will cover the basics. Christa and I met at SuperWow summer camps in 2006. We were both on staff and I was her boss. She would tell you that I was "technically" or "sort of" or "kind of" or "more or less" her boss, but I assure you, I was her boss. On paper at least. As getting to know each other began, we found that we didn't much care for one another. She was loud and pushy (or so I thought), and I was arrogant and obnoxious. I wish I could say that those characteristics are on my list of changes, but I am not certain about that. I will leave that to you.
However, as the summer progressed, we developed a mutual respect for each other. I got to see Christa serve in her passions and giftedness, and what a teacher she was (and is!). She observed me as I served an amazing staff at camp. We became friends by the end of the summer and, as we were both finishing undergraduate degrees at UGA, we had an excuse to catch up down the road in Athens. A few months passed, and we began to meet for lunch nearly every week and spoke on the phone quite consistently. By Christmas of 2006 I found that the respect I had for Christa was quickly growing into something more.
We continued to hang out and grow closer, and by February, we were dating. However, Christa always described us as "more than friends, but not engaged." Either way, it was quickly turning into something special. Skipping many of the details, by the summer, we began to recognize that the Lord was preparing us for something beyond all comprehension.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I would like to do now is offer you segments of our story over the next few weeks. I have most of our story journaled in Word documents and will post them periodically. I hope that you can be excited with us as we continue on this path God has marked out for us.
Two Major Concerns
On Friday, June 29, 2007, I sat down to lunch with my sister, Jessica, at Chick-fil-a at Alps and Baxter in Athens. As had become customary, my thoughts about and feelings for Christa began to surface not long into the conversation. Quickly arising were the sentiments of deep care and connection that I feel so certainly and powerfully with Christa. My sister and I began talking about the fact that I had been led heavily to consider and pursue marriage with Christa.
At that point, I began to voice two of the primary concerns (and pretty much the only reservations I had at all) I had about marriage, which were money for a ring and time before January (when Christa had planned to begin grad school, most likely in Chicago) to propose, be engaged, and get married. The Lord spoke to me about the first concern, the ring, during the lunch with Jessica. By the time in the conversation that I had brought these concerns up, my sister interrupted me and told me that my mother had my grandmother’s engagement ring. Much to my surprise, my grandmother had given my mother the ring years ago to give to me when I was ready to get engaged. This was the first I had heard about it, and honestly I did not give much more thought to this fact until later.
It was not until dinner with Christa that the second concern was addressed. That same night was the night Christa was to return home from Jekyll Island and a week of SuperWOW with 18 middle school students. We went to see a friend who had gone into labor at the hospital and then left to spend the rest of the evening together. Stevi B’s was our stop for dinner, and Christa and I began to talk as we ate potato pizza and drank Barq’s Root Beer. Not far into the conversation, Christa mentioned that she had been thinking about the grad school plan for January. She mentioned that for many reasons—relationships with students in her youth group, the training of a new youth pastor, logic and convenience, etc.—she had been seriously considering doing grad school online for the spring semester while remaining in the Athens area. Among her reasons mentioned was the fact that she was uncertain where our relationship was heading—said in a way to imply that there was consideration for a long-term commitment.
Christa and I watched a movie, said our goodbyes, kissed, and a day or two passed before I realized what happened. The Lord had provided answers to my two primary concerns about what He had laid on my heart—a ring and time for everything to transpire. Before all this happened, I was all but certain Christa and I were supposed to get married. I had asked myself what it would take to make me any more certain than I already was that I should marry Christa, and my answer was that nothing would make me any more certain. As far as I was concerned, I had seen the writing on the wall and heard the voice from heaven. I felt confident that the Lord wanted me to spend the rest of my life with her, but the logic of it didn’t pan out. That was where God stepped in and completely addressed and took care of my two primary concerns.
What was really amazing about all this was the fact that I don’t recall ever taking these two concerns to God in prayer. It was not that I doubted God and didn’t want to pray about it. In fact, God had answered or shown me that he was answering my prayers concerning my relationship with Christa. It was simply that I never really took these concerns to Him in prayer. I am not certain why, but when I considered what He had shown me and that I never really prayed about it, God spoke to me in an amazing way. I felt that He was telling me that He would have His glory and be God whether I asked Him to or not. He did not need my permission, and He did not need my prayers (although my prayers helped me to align myself with what He had in store to begin with). He was showing me that He was God on His own and for His name’s sake. This instance showed me that God was in everything, specifically the relationship with Christa and me, for His glory and not for my pleasure. This relationship is not just to please and satisfy Christa and me, but it is most importantly to bring glory to God.
The last time I blogged was October 2...
2006...
That was over a year ago. I hate that. But there is a part of that which I love: A lot has happened in the last year. There is much I cannot explain adequately, but here is a list of the major things that have happened since October 2, 2006:
- I started working as a youth pastor in Greensboro, GA (I've not been ordained or even licensed, but that is just what they call me)
- I graduated college and finished my Speech Communication degree
- I got engaged!
Of course that list leaves out many details. Such details would have been blogged about along the way, but for whatever reason, they weren't. Anyway, I digress. In addition to that brief list, I will add that I have experienced quite a change in myself. The Lord has moved so powerfully that much of me has changed--my outlook on life, my faith, my expectations, my heart, my desires, and so much more. It is not to say that I have given up my passions and my goals, but it is to say that they have been altered. Not lost, but enhanced. For those of you who have not been constantly kept up to date with the day to day details of my life, you might look at me now and say that I am a different person. I assure you, I have always been me, and that will never change. However, I will be the first to tell you that I am changed, and I can only hope that all of you say that when you look back on your life year to year. So it thrills me to know that, as I age, I grow.
Scripture after Scripture teaches us that we are works in progress, that there is something greater for which we still exist. For example:
- Philippians 1:6 "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
- Philippians 2:12 "...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling."
- Hebrews 10:14 "because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."
- Philippians 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- Hebrews 6:1-3 "Therefore let us leave the elementary teachings about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from acts that lead to death, and of faith in God, instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. And God permitting, we will do so."
And the list goes on. This is the reason we change--for maturity, for what is ahead, for holiness, for growth, for completion. I echo Paul when I say that I am nowhere close to any of these attributes. But I strive for them. I pursue them. I yearn for them. This is my purpose and my aim.
I wish to share with you a glimpse of what God has done. As I mentioned earlier, I got engaged and am set to be married on January 4, 2008. I cannot wait! My fiance's name is Christa Kirby. She is amazing, and that is the understatement of a lifetime.
How it Began
I want to share with you the journey that has led us here, to the threshold of marriage. To begin, I will cover the basics. Christa and I met at SuperWow summer camps in 2006. We were both on staff and I was her boss. She would tell you that I was "technically" or "sort of" or "kind of" or "more or less" her boss, but I assure you, I was her boss. On paper at least. As getting to know each other began, we found that we didn't much care for one another. She was loud and pushy (or so I thought), and I was arrogant and obnoxious. I wish I could say that those characteristics are on my list of changes, but I am not certain about that. I will leave that to you.
However, as the summer progressed, we developed a mutual respect for each other. I got to see Christa serve in her passions and giftedness, and what a teacher she was (and is!). She observed me as I served an amazing staff at camp. We became friends by the end of the summer and, as we were both finishing undergraduate degrees at UGA, we had an excuse to catch up down the road in Athens. A few months passed, and we began to meet for lunch nearly every week and spoke on the phone quite consistently. By Christmas of 2006 I found that the respect I had for Christa was quickly growing into something more.
We continued to hang out and grow closer, and by February, we were dating. However, Christa always described us as "more than friends, but not engaged." Either way, it was quickly turning into something special. Skipping many of the details, by the summer, we began to recognize that the Lord was preparing us for something beyond all comprehension.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What I would like to do now is offer you segments of our story over the next few weeks. I have most of our story journaled in Word documents and will post them periodically. I hope that you can be excited with us as we continue on this path God has marked out for us.
Two Major Concerns
On Friday, June 29, 2007, I sat down to lunch with my sister, Jessica, at Chick-fil-a at Alps and Baxter in Athens. As had become customary, my thoughts about and feelings for Christa began to surface not long into the conversation. Quickly arising were the sentiments of deep care and connection that I feel so certainly and powerfully with Christa. My sister and I began talking about the fact that I had been led heavily to consider and pursue marriage with Christa.
At that point, I began to voice two of the primary concerns (and pretty much the only reservations I had at all) I had about marriage, which were money for a ring and time before January (when Christa had planned to begin grad school, most likely in Chicago) to propose, be engaged, and get married. The Lord spoke to me about the first concern, the ring, during the lunch with Jessica. By the time in the conversation that I had brought these concerns up, my sister interrupted me and told me that my mother had my grandmother’s engagement ring. Much to my surprise, my grandmother had given my mother the ring years ago to give to me when I was ready to get engaged. This was the first I had heard about it, and honestly I did not give much more thought to this fact until later.
It was not until dinner with Christa that the second concern was addressed. That same night was the night Christa was to return home from Jekyll Island and a week of SuperWOW with 18 middle school students. We went to see a friend who had gone into labor at the hospital and then left to spend the rest of the evening together. Stevi B’s was our stop for dinner, and Christa and I began to talk as we ate potato pizza and drank Barq’s Root Beer. Not far into the conversation, Christa mentioned that she had been thinking about the grad school plan for January. She mentioned that for many reasons—relationships with students in her youth group, the training of a new youth pastor, logic and convenience, etc.—she had been seriously considering doing grad school online for the spring semester while remaining in the Athens area. Among her reasons mentioned was the fact that she was uncertain where our relationship was heading—said in a way to imply that there was consideration for a long-term commitment.
Christa and I watched a movie, said our goodbyes, kissed, and a day or two passed before I realized what happened. The Lord had provided answers to my two primary concerns about what He had laid on my heart—a ring and time for everything to transpire. Before all this happened, I was all but certain Christa and I were supposed to get married. I had asked myself what it would take to make me any more certain than I already was that I should marry Christa, and my answer was that nothing would make me any more certain. As far as I was concerned, I had seen the writing on the wall and heard the voice from heaven. I felt confident that the Lord wanted me to spend the rest of my life with her, but the logic of it didn’t pan out. That was where God stepped in and completely addressed and took care of my two primary concerns.
What was really amazing about all this was the fact that I don’t recall ever taking these two concerns to God in prayer. It was not that I doubted God and didn’t want to pray about it. In fact, God had answered or shown me that he was answering my prayers concerning my relationship with Christa. It was simply that I never really took these concerns to Him in prayer. I am not certain why, but when I considered what He had shown me and that I never really prayed about it, God spoke to me in an amazing way. I felt that He was telling me that He would have His glory and be God whether I asked Him to or not. He did not need my permission, and He did not need my prayers (although my prayers helped me to align myself with what He had in store to begin with). He was showing me that He was God on His own and for His name’s sake. This instance showed me that God was in everything, specifically the relationship with Christa and me, for His glory and not for my pleasure. This relationship is not just to please and satisfy Christa and me, but it is most importantly to bring glory to God.
posted by mcm at 19:09
2 Comments:
Wow...Matthew that is amazing! I am sure you are top of the world and I wish I could be around you know in your life and share in this joy. (But know that I am feeling joy for you as I type) Dude I can't wait to be at there on your wedding day, I know it will be a blast.
Wow, reading your thoughts on prayer really encourages me in my own life. I tend to think I don't pray often enough, and I still don't think I pray often enough...but that is not the point God still knows and understand my needs. I think about Psalms 139 and also Eph 3:20 "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,"
Hopefully I will talk with you soon. Grace and Peace be multiplied to you from God the father and our Lord and Jesus Christ.
can't wait to hear more of the story!!
glad you're back, matt! :)
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